Tiny ****ing Pockets

May 24, 2011 at 6:11 pm (Uncategorized)

Okay, who thought it was a good idea to put tiny pockets on women’s t-shirts?  Have you ever seen a woman with a tiny pocket on their tit and thought to yourself, “Isn’t that flattering?  All women’s t-shirts should have tiny pockets on them!”  Of course you haven’t, because any person with the slightest fashion sense, hell, any person with eyes knows that the tiny pocket doesn’t flatter anyone.  Does that stop Target or H&M from putting tiny pocket after tiny pocket on your boobs? No.  It doesn’t.

As far as I’m aware, the tiny pocket is there solely for decorative purposes, but let’s entertain the possibility that this is supposed to be a tiny functional pocket.  What could you fit in there?  You could carry some coins but the resemblance to T.H.O. is too strong (Is that a nickel in your tiny pocket, or are you just happy to see me?).  Similarly, you could carry a few folded bills in there, but then you’re just asking for someone to rob you (And there’s no way they could rob you without touching your breast, which is super unwelcome.).  What else fits in there?  It’s too small for an ID or bus pass, but maybe you could fit a button (Why would you need a button when you’re wearing a t-shirt?) or a guitar pick?  So really, the argument for a functional tiny pocket is a very thin one.

Then that means that the tiny pocket is there for aesthetic reasons.  Well, as far as I’m concerned, the tiny pocket can only play out in one of three ways.  If you are small-chested, the tiny pocket just draws attention to what you’re lacking in the upper region as it droops awkwardly.  If you are ample -bosomed, the tiny pocket looks comically small as it sits squarely in the middle of your extremely large breast.  Best case scenario you have a medium-sized chest, but you still have a tiny pocket on it.

Let’s put an end to this madness.

picture courtesty of http://www.katymallory.com

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