That Thing You Got Behind You is Amazing

April 12, 2011 at 11:23 am (Uncategorized)

Some young women have a complicated relationship with their bodies.  Some young women have complicated relationships with their mothers.  I have a complicated relationship with Jesse McCartney.  I know, I know, I can just imagine you rolling your eyes right now.  Better yet, I can picture some of you blankly staring at your computer screens, because you’re far too sophisticated to even know who or what Jesse McCartney is.  You’re lucky.

Jesse McCartney is a pop singer and occasional actor.  Think of a cross between Justin Bieber and Zac Efron, but without all the polish.  Some of you just threw up a little in your mouths, didn’t you?  I’m sorry.  He’s not hugely popular, but he’s got a pretty big following amongst the tween girl set.  His songs are mostly about girls or sex or girls’ butts, and occasionally he’ll get someone like T-Pain or Ludacris to make a cameo on one of his tracks and lend him a little street cred.  At face value there’s nothing that sets him aside from any other pop singer.  In fact, there’s nothing discernible that you’d think would make someone such as myself (a grown-up with a lot of skeptical disdain for pop artists) a fan…but I am.

Jesse McCartney is kind of ordinary, which I really like.  He’s attractive in a white bread kind of way, his personal life isn’t particularly juicy, and his songs, while EXTREMELY catchy, are far from being in the running for inclusion in the Great American Songbook.  He doesn’t try to present himself as an Artist or innovator, he’s just a young guy who loves the ladies and wants to make music that you can shake your ass to.  Oh, and he also does the occasional charity work.  There ain’t much I can find fault with here.

If it were the 1950s, Jesse would be the perfect matinée idol.  Handsome, charismatic, inoffensive.  He’s got a touch of bad boy to him, though if you dig a little deeper, it’s obvious that he’s never really done anything wrong.  If they do another revival of “Bye Bye Birdie” in a few years he’d make a perfect Conrad.  Jesse also might have flourished if he’d been old enough during the height of one of the boy band crazes.  He sings, he dances, he’s a regular Joey McIntyre (or Nick Carter, if you’re not old enough to get that reference).  But poor Jesse was born in the wrong time, or at least, poor Jesse needs a better manager.

Here’s the latest Jesse McCartney song that I’ve added to my iPod…I feel like I should warn you that the video is decidedly…not good…but I guarantee that you will want to shake your booty to this song, which is all Jesse could ask for, isn’t it?

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