CW Revamp

March 30, 2010 at 6:30 am (Uncategorized)

I am a firm believer in guilty pleasures, though as far as I’m concerned there is no reason to feel guilty.  As long as you recognize the guilty pleasure for the nonsense that it is and don’t hold it on a pedestal, I think they’re a fun way to indulge in silliness.  Amongst my guilty pleasures are R. Kelly music, American cheese, the “High School Musical” franchise, and CW televisions shows.

The CW shows are what really get me because although the writing is wretched, they are often packed with way fashionable clothes and tons of eye candy.  If these shows could just have a little more substance and not be such brain-rotting pieces of garbage, they could be really great pieces of entertainment.

I’ve given it a little bit of thought, and I have some suggestions how the CW could revamp their line-up so that it captures the superficial strengths of their programming, but takes it a little more highbrow:

Beverly Sills 90210 While the kids at West Beverly High are usually too busy recovering from substance addictions and knockin’ boots in beach cabanas, their lives get turned upside down when the ghost of the great opera singer, Beverly Sills, starts haunting the halls of the school.  After getting over their initial terror, the kids start learning about grand opera from the ghost of Beverly Sills, and the season culminates with the kids staging their own production of “Le Nozze de Figaro.”

Melrose Space The sexy young twenty-something tenants of Melrose Place have a new landlord, John Glenn!  He sets up a telescope in the courtyard, and turns the inhabitants of the apartment complex into total astrophiles.  John Glenn is contacted by NASA to do yet another space mission, and he is instructed to bring along someone who might benefit from the journey.  The Melrose Place denizens sneakily scheme and plot against each other, and do their best to seduce John Glenn with sexy negligees and talk about the solar system.

Gossip Purls Though she is still on the path to a fast moral decline, Little J decides to use her new wealth to launch a trendy sweater line.  Things are going along as planned, but then Rufus and Lily find out that Little J had hired a group of illegal immigrants to knit her sweaters for her, and they force Little J to fire them.  Fortunately for Little J, Serena gathers together Blair, Chuck, Dan, Nate, and Vanessa and teaches them to knit, and they attempt to finish Little J’s sweaters for her.

Essentially, I want to turn the CW into PBS with sexier actors and better clothes.


1 Comment

  1. Shavone said,

    I’m down. Is there a petition? Perhaps some pilots I could edit?

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